Teaching Children to Give and Receive Compliments

Start with observation

Kids learn fast when the language is simple. Teach them to start with what they saw: You shared your markers. This keeps praise grounded in reality.

From there, help them add the impact: It made it easier for everyone to draw. This makes the compliment feel meaningful.

Model the behavior

Children copy what adults do. When you give a calm, specific compliment, they learn how it sounds. Repeat it often so it becomes normal.

Use daily routines as practice moments, like meal time or cleanup.

• Say one compliment at dinner
• Ask each child to notice a kind action
• Keep the tone warm and short

Help them receive praise

Some kids shrug off compliments or feel shy. Teach them a simple response like thank you or that was kind of you to say.

Receiving praise with ease is part of confidence building.

Avoid labels

Labels like smart or perfect can create pressure. Focus on effort, patience, or kindness instead. This supports growth without fear of failure.

If a child makes a mistake, separate correction from praise to keep trust intact.

Make it a game

Try a short game where each person offers one compliment about a specific action. Games reduce pressure and make the practice fun.

Keep the game short and end on a positive note.

• Compliment circle
• Kindness scavenger hunt
• Three good things at bedtime

Use age appropriate language

Younger children respond best to short, concrete sentences. Older kids can handle more detail and can reflect on how their actions helped others.

Adjust the language as they grow so the compliments stay meaningful and not repetitive.

Praise and correction should be separate

If a child makes a mistake, correct it in a calm moment, not inside the compliment. This keeps praise safe and prevents mixed messages.

When you separate praise and correction, children learn that recognition is reliable and not conditional.

• Praise the behavior you want repeated
• Correct privately when needed
• End on a positive action

Examples kids can use

Children learn faster with short phrases they can repeat. Give them a few templates and let them practice with siblings or friends.

The goal is to make compliments feel natural, not forced. Keep it playful and simple.

• Thanks for sharing with me
• You were really patient today
• I like how you helped clean up

Handling awkward moments

Some kids feel shy when giving or receiving praise. If that happens, keep it light and do not push.

Over time, gentle practice builds confidence and makes the habit feel normal. Give them time and keep the tone light. Praise the attempt, not the performance. It builds confidence over time. Always.

Compliments and growth mindset

Praise effort and strategies instead of fixed traits. This helps children see that improvement is possible and that mistakes are part of learning.

When kids hear effort based praise, they are more likely to try again after a setback.

• You kept trying even when it was tricky
• You asked for help and that was smart
• You practiced and got better

Family rituals that work

Short rituals make compliments a normal part of the day. A quick round at dinner or bedtime keeps the habit consistent.

Keep it short so kids stay engaged and the practice stays fun.

If a child does not want to participate, model the compliment yourself. Over time they often join in.

• One compliment at dinner
• One compliment before bed
• One compliment after a team activity